Mi Casa, Su Casa. Literally.

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For my generation, most relationships merge under 1 roof before 2 people merge last names.

There is a lot to be learned about a person when you live with them.  Just as there is a lot to be learned about yourself when you make the move to live with your significant other.  The beauty of a lasting relationship is founded on the bond that develops in this learning stage.  If a relationship is meant to be, a love for the other person’s crazy quirks blooms.  And should be watered daily.

Advice… Acknowledge an adjustment period.  This is the time you begin to realize you now live with a real human being (not the super human boyfriend bot who cleaned from top to bottom when he was expecting you).  Don’t give up in the adjustment period.  Your boyfriend > Nicholas Spark’s Cliche, any day.  Just ask Pinocchio, he begged to be a real boy!

For example: The pooping adjustment period.  We all do it, so stop blushing.

My adjustment period for this perfectly natural (but still awkward) bodily function came when my boyfriend and I moved into a 1 bathroom bungalow.

Our “schedules” have, oddly enough, always been in sync.  Which was GREAT in his 2 bathroom town house.  He would excuse himself to take care of business, giving me at least 10 minutes to sneak away to do the same.  He never had to know.  NOW…. His 10-20 minute business breaks have me in line knocking on the door for nexties.  Consider this, the adjustment period.

I have since learned to love his habit of over staying his bathroom welcome – Because at least the toilet seat is warm.  My love has bloomed.

He now knows I poop.  And that it truly does smell like roses.  His love has bloomed.

A much more relevant realization bestowed upon me, is the true comfort in unconditional love.

I have never been one for a lot of make up.  Yes, it is fun to dress up and go out.  Yes, I generally wear the basics on a regular basis.  Yes, I am perfectly fine being seen by my boyfriend without ANY make up on.

I also realize, despite the fact that I am perfectly comfortable for my boyfriend to see me without make up, there is an entirely new – let’s call it, sublevel – to my natural state.

It involves ridiculously unmanageable hair (often in need of washing), unshaven legs, over sized clothing, hair dye, teeth whiteners, and unibrows.  I must not forget facial masks of all sorts:  Mud masks, black head extracting masks, pore reducing masks.

Most of these masks make hot girl friends unrecognizable, giving Jim Carey a run for his money.

 

The Mask

But despite all these things no boyfriend has signed up for, to be loved all the same is the best feeling.

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But I’m taking birth control for you!

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I have been seeing a guy for about 3 months now.  He is perfect.  Handsome, funny, thoughtful, kind, the list goes on.  Back off ladies.  But I have a dilemma.  How do grown ups know when they are official?  In school it was easy.  Pass a note to your crush: “Will you be my girlfriend, check Yes or No”.

Is that acceptable for people in their mid-20s?!  Life would be simpler.  We go on dates, now have mutual friends.  He bought me hair ties to keep at his place.  He has a toothbrush at mine.  We are not hooking up with other people (as far as i know!?)

We even had the Birth Control conversation.

Side Note:: Birth Control makes me crazy. After being on the pill for 3 years, I stopped taking it all together about a year ago.  Gave it a quick second try 6 months into my protest.  I only lasted 2 more days before i pitched the rest of my prescription.  Here is why. Went out to eat, sushi with the girls.  Our server took our order and about 15 minutes later we saw our sushi, in all of it’s glory, sitting in the window to be ran.  I used to be a server myself so i am usually extremely patient.  Not this time.  I felt my blood rising as our server walked right by our order not once, but twice.  When the food finally came i was short and rude.  It was a defense to keep myself from having a complete sushi meltdown in public.  When the server left our table, my friends were looking at me as if i was an alien impostor dwelling in the human shell formally known as their best friend.  I don’t blame them!  I was nuts.

Well, for Mr. Right I am back on the BC wagon.  Not sure if im happy about it, but I do feel like this is one step in the mature relationship direction i am obligated to take.

All Im saying, if we dont work out – Then this birth control hormonal bullshit is for the birds and out the window.  How ironic would it be if he broke up with me for being a moody bitch (common side effect of popping that little pill daily)?!  “But Im taking birth control for you!”, i would scream in vain.

Dos and Don’ts of Dating in Your Mid 20’s

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Lasting relationships between couples who met at a young age are becoming few and far between.  It does happen, but most of us in our 20’s are still figuring it out.  I am stuck between too old for dead end relationships and too young for the “M” word (don’t make me say it! Dun Dun Dunnnnn: Marriage).  At the ripe old age of 25, I won’t pretend I have it all figured out; however, I am willing to share a few things I have learned along the way…

Dos and Dont’s of Dating in your mid 20’s:

-DON’T sell yourself short.  Turning 25 does not mean date the next guy who compliments you at the bar or the creeper who asks you out via Facebook.  Just because you haven’t met Mr. Right yet, does not mean the ship has sailed.  Chances are you are hotter now than you have ever been, or will ever be again.  It took me a quarter of a century, but I have finally figured out how to manage my unruly hair and realize bronzer/self-tanners should be used in small doses.

Your clock is not ticking, despite what your nagging mother may have to say about it.  If she’s ready for grandchildren, just remind her having grandchildren means she is old.  I’m sure that can buy you a few more years.

-DO use condoms/Birth Control. No one is pretending to actually like condoms.  I would be a liar to say sex does not feel better without them.  But let’s face a cold hard truth: Boys are gross.  They will have sex with ANYTHING.  Until you have established trust and exclusivity then your mantra should be “No Glove, No Love”.

I am too old to worry every month of my sexually active life if I am prego.  Ladies, so are you.  Fellas, you may not worry about the “I’m Late” phone call until it happens.  I promise you she is not talking about being late for your dinner date (Which is probably now canceled.  You are going to have to save that cash for diapers!)

DON’T meet someone on Tinder.  Just don’t.  It creeps me out.  Stranger danger!  I think Tinder is a great start to this week’s next episode of Criminal Minds.  You will get abducted and you will die.

-DO be open to options outside of your “type”.  We all have a type.  Those characteristics which initially attract us to an individual we do not know.  At 25 I realized my “type” got me into trouble!  Boys with asshole tendencies, motorcycles and tattoos really rev my engine (too corny?), but don’t make the best boyfriends.  They’re free spirits baaaaaby, it comes with the appeal.

I have recently started seeing this guy who is SO FAR from my type.  He is nice, he is an attorney, he takes me on dates, he fits right in with all my friends, we have so much in common, he likes to read, he enjoys running, he owns dress pants.  I know I know, he sounds perfect.  And he is.  Actually liking someone I could have a lasting healthy relationship with is new to me.

We met through mutual friends.  He asked for my number 3 or 4 times throughout the course of the night, finally not taking no for an answer.  He invited me to dinner the next night.  I was talking myself out of going with every excuse I could come up with: he could be a rapist, he was wearing a button down dress shirt when we met, I should put my clean laundry away, ect….  My best friend intervened.  She promised me if I didn’t have a good time, then she would never make me go on another date again.  Convinced I was going to have a terrible, boring time I agreed.  Boy, was I going to teach her a lesson!

Oh the irony.  We went to dinner at this swanky restaurant, the kind of place that doesn’t list prices on their menu.  We laughed, had great conversation and lost track of time. Hours later we decided to continue our date with a walk around The Queen city.

Now, I am totally in like with him and the more we get to know each other the better it gets!

-DON’T pretend.  If you like football, great.  If you love to read, awesome.  If you are a super smart science geek, talk nerdy to me! Thanks to Big Bang Theory, it is totally acceptable.  However, if you do not have a passion for those things, don’t act like you do to impress someone.  Pretending to enjoy things you have no interest in will only lead to enduring things you don’t want to do, while being forced to act as if you are happy about it.

Same goes for sex.  If you are not having fun doing the dirty, don’t pretend.  Be open about what you like and don’t like.  The last thing I want to happen is find myself falling in like with someone who thinks I get pleasure from his thumb up my butt.  I’m sure some people love thumb butt sex.  I am not one of them.  Life is too short to fake orgasms.  (<——- bumper sticker that!)

-DON’T date your best friend. I’m not saying it cant work.  If they are your best friend, you obviously have a lot in common.  The sexual attraction may even be there.  But that does not mean they are the one.  Some friends date and their friendship is lucky enough to survive when it doesn’t work out.  It is a beautiful thing when a guy and girl can be best friends and nothing more.  Cherish that.  Don’t fuck it up with sex.